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Friday, September 28, 2007
 week After my life being continually screwed up for : -people assuming my thoughts and actions -being blamed for not taking the initiative to say sorry for something I didn't do -hating the word "initiative" -being blamed for not being able to make a change in someone else -being the only one left except a few close, true friends, thanks tons to Erina and Sharon mostly -being asked why the heck am I up so early at 2am, "studying" -piling guilt and blame on myself because no-one wanted to take the responsibility -being the one in the wrong cause I was tired and wanted to go..home? -making people cry tons of times -being bribed? -being ignored and my feelings just not taken into consideration, -kindness seems to be bigfatshit in secondary school cuz it never pays off I found it supercalifragilisticexpialidocious-ly dificult to get on with life and still do well, so I didn't manage to save it. But I really am grateful for the little bits and large shards of concern some people showed to me, and I am finally over this, I have realised ;p Yesterday, Martha understood finally and apologised, because now any misunderstanding was cleared and I am happy she did not turn out to be one of the many split characters I had analysed and created in my mind. Thank God the haunting has stopped. Today, Christine seemed to make small actions which kind of made up for our lack of communication for quite long and maybe she really doesn't want to say the real words to my face. And I'm glad that's another thing (almost) straightened.. thanks for taking the initiative and taking the first step.. Thank You God for allowing me to forgive without words.. I didn't deserve the blame to be piled up on myself.. I guess this taught me a lesson on Secondary School life, and how to cope without others breaking you easily. I guess vulnerability is an issue. But I tell you the next time someone uses me or backstabs someone else, I'm going to slam it straight to her face she's the one in the wrong so don't frickin' contradict your own words. This may sound angry, but seriously it doesn't sum up anything I have been feeling. I do not wish to remember this actually and hope to switch to Xanga but I can't find any nice themes :/ I want to thank the World ;P and especially these people- God I grew closer to you and indeed you helped me through Christinek finally believing in me Erina talking to me every night, discussing about religion and being a really true and close friend Hillary cookie monster and midnight mute math Jaena listening about my st. nickies problems lmao Joanna helping me reason out how I should feel by your just character Jojo Mojo Bananas hugged me and asked me if the Seven really split up.. concerned Molesbian hearts Martha recognising real friendship and choosing not to let go of it Mello being a true molesbian and sticking with me at night, hugging and cheering many people, you really rockstonepebble Nick still being concerned in the midst of your tough exams and children's shouts of joy for their "happy occasion" ;P Sharon Lim trying so hard to understand and siding with the more pathetic part of the situation - selfishly me Sharon Way just looking and talking on msn shows lovely saving shreds of concern ;D Shu Qing talking to me and sharing with me her personal take, also thanks for saying the line that meant the most to me Yorklyn dealing with all my ignorance when I couldn't connect with you and still bothering to talk to me and establish our friendship finally over and done with the non-existent crap;D thanks for the love and everything that has happened because I am stronger- ( Kanye West hahas ) and I'm sorry I had to break the Seven up because I was genuinely not part of it I did not say anything in this post sarcastically The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - False Pretence Like I do sometimes Sorry : Listening to x&Yellowcard Learnt about Polygons and Angles today, we're going to rush through the whole last part of Math during enrichment week ;p I really hope my RTs weren't screwed because of the above reasons.. But I promise I will not be biased against my own mind And *help only when help is wanted *In the case of Cabrini And do not lose my character to the competitive, sometimes backstabbing environment.. Because I'm the ["most courageous person I've ever met"] And I thank you so much for those words P.S. to Jaena Jae - Paramore's coming either end of `07 or beginning of `08 so we'll keep hoping ;P P.S. to O.F.s ( outside circle friends ) QQ - Sorry for not being able to stick with you through your toughest times.. first I need your phone no. ;P and good luck, will pray for you cause you deserve the best your kind heart gives out without hesitance.. SH - Don't try to find my pic cause I'll kill you for it ;D  Y
11:16 PM
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megnut dia
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